I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
