I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
