Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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