I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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