it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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