Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
