She said her name was "party"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
