Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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