we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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