Nicole vs. Life
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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