I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
