u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
