Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
