Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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