i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
