dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
