There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
