This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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