I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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