So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
