my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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