went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
