Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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