i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
