Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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