Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
