I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
