Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
