I've blown a few things in my day
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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