If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
