i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
