Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
