Already got asked if we're dating
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
