her vagine was all disorganized.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
