haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
