I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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