PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I am one with the molecules
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
