First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
