He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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