I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
