I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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