susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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