I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
