party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So gin and wine won't be happening again
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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