I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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