And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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