I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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