Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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