left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
