bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
