Your face is a jimmy john
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
